Driving around in the city is a highly frustrating experience. People honking all around, people driving like maniacs, college-kids driving side-by-side with their girlfriends on two wheelers, and the old aunty that stubbornly wants to wait 2 minutes after the signal has turned green to start moving. All this chaos is too much for me!
And so, I got thinking. What other addons and accessories could I put on to my car to make driving around the city easier? My first reaction was to think about one of James Bond’s missle-firing cars, but that’s not feasible. So I thought about it a little more, and here’s my list of very feasible car addons to make driving on the roads easier.
Imagine this scenario: You’re late for work, but the car in front is driving unbearably slowly, and won’t let you overtake either. For this scenario, I’m thinking I should attach a small expandable crane to the top of my car. With the simple flick of the button, the crane will extend out, over the car in front. At the end of the crane is a giant electro-magnet. Once the electro-magnet is on top of the car in front, it gets activated, sucking the car in front off the road. The crane gently swings across, deposits the car on the footpath where it belongs, and you can then be on your merry way to office.
2. The Seat Belt WindShield
You know how, the one time that you forget to wear your seat belt is exactly the time when the policeman catches you and fines you for not wearing your seat-belt? According to my calculations, there is roughly 0.001% chance that I forget to wear my seatbelt, but when that time comes, there is inevitably a cop waiting to fine me at the very first intersection. I think the car manufacturers and the cops are in cahoots. The car must be emitting a signal on the police frequencies, alerting them of an easy target.
To get around this problem, I think they should design the front windshield such that it has a small black stripe that goes across right in front of the driver. The stripe has to be designed such that for a person looking into the car from the front, it the stripe overlaps on the driver and appears to be a seat-belt. This way, even if you forget to wear the seat-belt, the cop standing outside trying to catch easy prey is fooled into thinking that the driver is wearing a seat-belt.
3. Surround Sound, but outside!
The sound quality in car audio systems has tremendously improved over the last few years, but all that improvement has been limited to making the sound better inside the car. What I really need is for an improved surround sound experience outside the car.
Let me explain. Lets say there is this crazy driver, zigzaging around traffic like a maniac. I want the car surround system to make a boom noise, and project the sound on to the offending car such that the driver believes he has just burst his tire. For an even more convincing experience, the sound system should incorporate all the surround-sound, dolby-digital magic and make the driver completely believe that his car is out of action. First a boom noise to make him think the tire’s gone, then some screeching and skidding noises, followed by some metal-scraping noises. This will force the maniac to pull over and get out of the car to look at his tires. By that time, I’ll be long gone.
There are so many good ideas out there, and these are all useful ideas that will really help drivers. Instead, the car manufacturers keep focusing on the wrong things – Like rain-sensing wipers. If only the car manufacturers would listen to my ideas, their sales could easily double. I mean, wouldn’t you buy a car that had an elecro-magnet, a fake-seat-belt and surround-sound?