The Wife and I recently were on a vacation in the Maldives. Beautiful country – Lovely beaches, resorts on private islands, a villa on the beach and all that, but that wasn’t what was fun about the vacation. It seems that the whole country is just about 1 meter above sea level. And that makes the entire country’s population freaked out about global warming. Global Warming. Entire Country! What fun!
Now, regular readers will know my intellectually strong position on the topic of Global Warming. So we were walking around the capital city and the tour guide was showing about 8 of us tourists around. He was punctuating every sentence he was saying with gyaan on global warming and how it was going to destroy their country.
Guide: “Global warming is a real problem! The millions of tons of CO2 dumped in the atmosphere is destroying the planet!”
Me: “HA!”
The wife gives me a little nudge followed by a stare. The guide gives me a stare too.
Guide: “… and moving along, we have here an organic waste recycling plant!”
Me: “Why don’t you just feed the organic waste to the fish? I’ll bet it tastes like food to them!”
Everyone turns around and looks at me. I point my finger to my head, telling the rest of the crowd how brilliant I think the idea is.
Guide: “We want to be as green as possible. They say in 50 years, the sea levels will rise and bury our country under water!”
Me: “Relax man. In 5 years, everyone will forget about global warming, just like they forgot about the ozone layer, El Nino and acid rain. And even if global warming is true, you can just move to Russia, since all that snow will have melted and that hell-hole will become livable, thanks to global warming! Hahahaa!”
It turns out that there were 2 Russian couples in our tour group. They gave me such a cold stare that my blood froze. Man! What the tundra does to humans! Anyway, for a bunch of people that were out on vacation trying to relax, this bunch looked rather worried. It seemed like I was the only one having fun! I turned to the wife to share with her this insight, and she gave me the YIIKU look. (For the un-initiated, that’s the “You Idiot! I’ll Kill You!” look)
Surprisingly, our guide ended the tour early. I wonder why. Anyway, later that day, we went to dinner at a restaurant in the resort. After dinner, the waiter came with the bill, and it said 400 US Dollars!!!! Now I was pretty sure we didn’t eat that much, so we must have had a lot to drink. Either that, or the whole country was in this together and decided to screw me. Lovely place though. I highly recommend it!
The dinner bill was funny
Yes, funny in retrospect. But I’m pretty sure I had a mild heart attack when I saw it!
Funny story Aditya, in your attempt trying to prove how clever you are, you missed a couple of opportunities.
I guess if I were to write an article claiming that Mumbai was a safe as houses and that there should be no tightening of security following a warning from the USA of an impending attack then we would be swimming in a similar pool of sycophancy, what do you say.
Fact is as far as Global warming is concerned, no-one truly knows who is right, but then sometimes a little forward thinking is a good idea, let me see, maybe if India had introduced a decent contraception programme a few decades ago it would be able to clothe, feed and treat all people as as well as having that nuclear arms race with it’s neighbour.
Anyway I shall leave you to ponder your intellectually castrated opinions and hope your choices of holiday destination fit with your own blinkered realities in the future. Look out for that infarction, it may the start of something big, but no of course not, they always happen to someone else luckily ;o)
Eh? What the hell are you talking about? Are you like.. A spammer?
400 US $ bill *faints*
Woah!! Musta been real nice!! i wud have run out screaming im Schizophrenic and “I was seeing extra 0′s in bills!”
lol @ Russia!!
Yeah, man! I had a similar reaction too! I was like
“IS THIS IN DOLLARS!?!? BANGALORE’S 10 RUPEE MASALA DOSA TASTES BETTER!!!”
Unfortunately, the waiter was not impressed.