As you’ve all probably noticed, I’ve not been blogging regularly these days. That’s because we’ve been moving our house, and getting settled into a new place.
Settling in a new apartment is a very complicated process. There is so much to do and so much to buy. One of the things we’ve been looking to buying is a Dining Table. I
But I can already hear all you skeptics say “How hard can that be?”
That’s exactly what I said when the wife told me that we needed to buy a new Dining Table. I used to think that buying a Dining Table would be as simple as:
Step 1. Go to shop
Step 2. Tell shopkeeper “I want to buy one Dining Table. How much?”
Step 3. Take Dining Table home and eat (Eat on the table, not the table itself)
Oh, but no! It turns out buying dining tables is much much more complicated than that! Firstly, I was shocked to find out that there are different types of dining tables – Wood, Wrought Iron, Metallic and what not. Then there are more permutations with Wood top, Glass Top, Granite top and some 45,356 other different types of tops. That leads to billions of combinations that no possible human can comprehend, for some definition of “human”. Secondly, Dining Tables, I’m told, have attributes that I’d never had guessed an inanimate piece of furniture can posses – Dining Tables can be short, tall, square, polished, high-back, elegant and curvy. I could confuse Dining Tables with hindi-movie heroines with that list of attributes.
The wife has very good aesthetic sense, she knows what looks good and what doesn’t, but I only like to see the end result of it. Being a part of the selection process is quite a torture.
At the furniture store:
Wife: “Do you have one with a glass top?”
Salesman (showing us Dining Table #1): “…Yes! This table here has a glass-top…”
Wife: “Do you have one with a metallic frame?”
Salesman (showing us Dining Table #2): “Of Course… This table here has a beautiful metallic frame…”
Wife: “Do you have this in Black?”
Salesman (showing us Dining Table #3): “Certainly… This table has a black frame…”
Wife: “Do you have one with a glass top?”
Salesman takes us back to Dining Table #1.
And round and round we go. When this happens in a computer program, it’s called an infinite loop and the program crashes. When it happens in a furniture store, it’s called “looking at the variety available”. After several hours of this round-and-round, the wife has finally selected one that she likes.
Wife: “I like this one. What do you think?”
Me: “It is spectacular! A work of art! Michelangelo would be put to shame. Can we buy it and get out of here?”
Salesman: “It’s only Rs. 54,514/- after 25% discount!”
Wife: “WHAT? That’s too expensive. No Way!”
And so we leave the place and go to another store, where the entire process repeats, right from step 1. After literally several days of table-hunting, the only thing I’d gained was respect for Dining Table salesmen. Truly enlightened souls. It seemed to me that buying a Dining Table is a bit like crossing a desert with no food or water. You have to perspire all day, and chase what only turn out to be mirages, living solely on the hope that one day the true Dining Table will show up just beyond the horizon and the journey will be over. The Wife, however, thinks that finding a good Dining Table is like finding a soul-mate. There is that one special Dining Table made for each person somewhere on this earth. You just have to find it, that’s all. I find it a little disturbing that she’s taking more time to choose the right Dining Table than she took to say yes to me. But such is life.
But my luck turned good finally, when all the zillions of parameters of one particular Dining Table matched the Wife’s expectations. I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally bought it. It was over at long last!
Wife: “We finally got the Dining Table”
Me: “Finally!”
Wife: “Good. Next on the list is a Sofa!”
Me: ” …. ” <collapses on the floor>
Organize the world’s table information and make it universally accessible and useful.
Hehe…. Or “Don’t be Evil. To Dining Tables.”
Is that how you picked a girl?
Step 1: Enter class
Step 2: Single out the most gullible looking girl
Step 3: Convince her that she cant find a better guy
Worked every single time, baby!
@Ramya – Are you calling me “gullible” ?
@Aditya – “Worked every single time “–what the hell does that mean ?
ROTFL!!
This is interesting now…
Eager to listen to PK’s answer!
Smitha, of course I meant you..PK, were you talking about someone else? :-O
Even I meant to ask about that everytime.. I thought he meant 1 out of 1 time = 100%. Right, PK?
do you have any 14th FEB stories????
Really nice!! Hilarious..
Really nice! Hilarious.
Thanks folks! I’m glad to report that we’ve finally bought a Sofa and a Dining Table!
Hurray for me!
As you folks have undoubtedly noticed, I’ve not responded to comments from The Wife, Ramya and others.
This is called a “strategic move”. (or “cowardice”, depending on your point of view)
14th Feb? What’s that? Didn’t that day just pass? What’s so special about that?
Looks like the wife has been silenced with new sofa and dining table. Strategic indeed!
Dude you made my sunday -> LOLs
Good thinking on the strategic move-> avoid direct confrontation.
What happened to “adityaism”
wow.. i’ve company, recently even i went thru the same grind of hunting for a dining table and sofa …
I know man… I somehow thing that Dining Tables were design with the explicit purpose of confusing unsuspecting husbands!
I agree…with the wife..deciding what you want involves a lot of research…
http://m0rph3us.blogspot.com/2007/11/finicky-woman.html is where i think you shall see what I mean..
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[...] folks will remember that the wife and I were hunting for sofas a while ago and it was a horrendous experience, but we finally managed to agree on one particular [...]