Have you noticed how everyone seems to “Want to get out of the city and reconnect with nature” these days? It’s almost like a fad. People keep saying how they went to this-or-that forest and how beautiful it was. I’m not really a “nature” type person. I LOVE living in the city and hate to get out of civilization. But I am alarmed at having found NOT ONE person that agrees with my view. It seems everyone is a “nature lover”. And so, to correct all your misconceptions, I want to show you why it’s a bad idea to go out and better to stay in.
The ‘You need to relax and connect to nature‘ Argument
People are always telling me this. I don’t get it. Why do I need to connect to nature? I mean, I’m always connected to the phone network and my email, how can nature be better? Plus, there are so many dangerous things out there.
Suppose you are out camping, enjoying the bonfire and the peace and quite. And then, suddenly, a Mad Hyena attacks you. What are you going to do? Tell Me? TELL ME! No camping enthusiast has ever satisfactorily answered this question, EVER! There is also the risk of snakes, leeches, ghosts and godzilla. Why would anyone take such a big risk just so that they can go out and camp?
Besides, you can relax in the city. Just head out to the nearest video game arcade, and you can relax all day if you want. Plus, all the hyenas in the video games can’t jump out AND you have a gun in the video game and you can shoot anything you like. Now that’s true relaxation!
The ‘Pollution is bad, get out and smell the fresh air‘ argument
People tell me that they want to get away from the City “To get away from the poisonous pollution”. Everybody has a misconception that Pollution is dangerous and all that nonsense. Let me present to you the correct side of the argument:
Pollution is good. I can think of several beneficial uses for pollution. Firstly, it drives away all the pesky crows, pigeons, sparrows and bees away from the city so that we don’t have to endure their droppings. Secondly, they say inhaling pollution is like smoking a pack of cigarettes. Isn’t that great? You get to experience all the fun that is smoking without all the problems like Lung Cancer and all.
The “You need nature to receive enlightenment and inner peace” argument
All the false propaganda spread by these “naturist” says that you really need to be amidst nature to experience bliss. And to that, I say ‘Bah! What Bull!‘. You can experience enlightenment and inner peace right here in the city. Getting up early to beat traffic, getting cheated by tampered auto meters, fighting and swearing at strangers! Such a wide array of emotions and excitement! Also, spending hours stuck in traffic gives you so much time to meditate. It’s a great deal, I say!
Also, there is “inner peace”. Everyone knows that inner peace can be easily obtained by going shopping to the nearest shopping mall and buying things that you don’t really need. You can even get bonus inner peace if there’s a sale going on. Every weekend is an opportunity for inner peace! I’ll bet if Buddha was born in today’s age and he chose a city to meditate in, he’d get enlightenment 10 years early!
In conclusion, let me just ask this: Why would anyone expose themselves to the rain, cold, predators and mad hyenas when they can sit inside a 10×10 room with one window? Plus, you can watch TV and Rakhi Sawant if you’re in the city. What are you going to watch when you’re camping? The stars?
Heehehhe…….nice. I don’t like nature either.
Oh, thank you! I thought everyone was like ‘What the hell is this dude talking about?’
Aditya Kulkarni- ‘Oh, thank you! I thought everyone was like ‘What the hell is this dude talking about?’
CP – Yeah! Exactly what I was thinking ! And then enlightenment dawned!!
civilisation is good..why wud you want to go to a place without electricity, internet or even disastrous….a BED!
internet
bed
masala dosa…
is the new age roti kapda aur makaan….
Seriously, with your ‘reasoning’ skills, you could even convince Al Gore that global warming is just an illusion
hilarious post!
@anon: Hilarious! They should make a movie about the new roti/kapda/makan!
@Roopa: But global warming IS just an illusion!
Dude its an experience I would like to say . Well my argument would be
“Its for a change ” .
1> you need to relax and connect to nature
In some trekking places u dont get any signal to be connected , and if a Hynea attacks ur adreline glands ll pump in harmones that ll make ur kidneys work harder !!
2> Pollution
Franly speaking its the space !! When u see lots of space around u u feel good !! Why coz ur neurons get exited .. n an action potential travels across ur axons etc to release the neurotransmitters!!
3> There is a difference when u wait in traffic . When in traffic u r exppecting something ( its an asynchronous event) So u cant meditate . But I dont know if u really want to meditate .. sitting for meditation is better ( coz its synchronus) !!
synchronous mediation? Dude! That’s dense.
Damn after reading the blog I thought only Aditya can come up with crap but satishtj just went one up
Isn’t it? For his great achievement, satishj is awarded the honorary medal for spectacular achievements in the field of jargoneese!
Hurray!
My pleasure
I think a way of giving some e-wards … would be an excellent idea .. Possibly “google” can launch some widget soon ..
“Awards” .. So besides the names some *** will appear just like how colonels wear those medals ..