I’ve started to enjoy playing Tennis. I suck at it, but that doesn’t stop me from playing anyway. It’s like an addiction. But my other friends don’t seem to enjoy it as much. They say I’m not a “Good Sport”. Ha! I think they’re just being bad losers. You decide for yourself:

So last week, we’re playing a doubles Tennis match. Drinivas and I are playing together as a team against a couple of other friends.

We’re leading 4-3 in the first set. The other team serves, and I smash it right back into the net.

Drinivas (making weird actions with his racket): “Place it man! Place it!”
Me: “I’m going to place it on top of you if you don’t keep quite!”
Drinivas: “$#@^%$#@**”
Friend #1: “Good team work fellows. Good team work!”
Me: “Grrrrr….”

Next point. Friend #1 serves it straight at me, and I’m trying out my single-hand-back-hand-top-spin-drop-shot. It lands up in the next court were a couple of chics are playing.

Drinivas: “What the hell are you doing?!? We lost the point!”
Me: “Oh, keep quite! We wouldn’t have lost if you didn’t serve like a Girl last game!”
Drinivas: “Shut up, you barbarian!”
Me: “You shut up %$$**&#$@”
Drinivas: “^%**%$#@”
Friend #1: “Is it still sledging if you’re screaming at your own teammate? These 2 have the serious sledging skills.”
Me: “That’s it. I’m defecting to the other team!”
Drinivas: “What?”
Friend #1: “In the middle of the game?!”
Drinivas: “Fine! Go away. Good riddance!”
Me: “Yeah, and I’m also taking with me all the points I won. That’s 4 games I’ve won. The score is now 9-0. We already won. Hahahahah! Looser! Looser!”
Drinivas: “Please! Besides…4 plus 3 is 7, not 9″
Me: “Is that what they taught you at ‘Vijaya School for the Ultimately Stupid’?”
Drinivas: “You know what? I’m too mature for this silly name calling!”
Me: “Why? You Chicken? Hey guys! Why can’t Drinivas The Chicken play tennis?”

Drinivas tries to say something but I cut him off

Me: “…because the Drinivas The Chicken sits on the balls all day trying to hatch them. Muhahahaah! Quack! Quack! Quack!”

And I start running around in circles flapping my arms like a Chicken. Drinivas totally looses it at this point and throws his racket at me.

60 minutes-of-the-same-stuff later…

Me: “Good Game guys! Wanna play again tomorrow?”
Everyone (in chorus) : “Not if you’re coming!”
Me: “You guys are such bad losers….”

PS: I know many of you are wondering if I’ve actually gone against my religious principles and started exercising by playing Tennis. But don’t worry. I make it a point to drink enough Maza and Pepsi to offset any calories I might have burnt playing Tennis, so I’m OK!