We share our planet with lots of weird species like nerds and geeks. As normal humans, we should make some effort to reach out to these folks so that we may understand their language and their culture. And so, to promote harmony with the nerds, I have managed to establish contact with one of them. To protect the identity of this Alien, we have to call him by his secret name, “Archisman Dhatra“. The following is an interview I conducted with Archisman.
Me: Hello Sir. Before we start, let me say that you look remarkably human. Do nerds always take the human form so as to not cause panic among regular human beings?
Archisman: “Please call me by my proper name: geek. Not nerd. There is subtle difference between a geek and a nerd and calling us nerds is a disgrace to our great forefathers. It has been statistically proven that geeks have 31.18% more chance of getting a date than nerds. I like to keep my chances optimal. But I am still single. I wonder why. Anyway, I digress.
Coming back to the point: Yes our goal is to try and not standout like a lone Lisp programmer in a JavaScript convention, but to blend in the way C blends into C++. This way, we can observe and study humans without causing too many compiler warnings, because, as our good old friend Atif would say, “The geeks will inherit the Earth.”
Me: My sources tell me that you got the 2nd Rank in 12th standard. That is 100% worse than 1st Rank. Is that a criminal offense punishable by death on your planet?
Archisman: Worse than that. We get a lifetime of community service on your planet, which explains why I am here. Painstakingly, we educate you masses about our alien culture so that you do not resist when we will take over your primitive society. So much for one small mistake!
Me: Us normal humans sleep with books under the pillow to make the knowledge from the book diffuse into our brains. What do the nerds do? Is it necessary to keep the book open for optimal transfer?
Archisman: This is where you kids go wrong. Reading a book is the process of aligning neurons in your cerebrum for knowledge persistence, and it is very essential to open the book before you start. Also, knowledge is power and
In other words, knowledge is basically forcing yourself to read lengths of boring text wasting your time. But remember that the lack of knowledge could be disastrous (You may recall your ‘I read Russian literature‘ incident) and the only way to amass this knowledge is to actually open and read the book.
But sometimes, when this is not possible, we just read the summary of a book and act as if we read the whole book. This works because it is impossible for a normal mortal to tell the difference.
Me: One last question. My sources tell me you are known as the super-nerd. Are you friends with super-man? You seem to be from the same planet.
Archisman: Pretty much. But unlike him I prefer to wear my underpants inside as a means of camouflage. This is aligned with the C-in-C++ principle that I mentioned before.
Me: Thank you, Sir for taking the time to talk to us normal human beings. We are glad to make contact with the geeks and hopefully we can live peacefully together.
Archisman: Thank you. And we’re going to take over your planet soon, so the peace thing might not work out.
what is funny is the fact that the “alien” interviewer wears a binary watch… rotfl
btw noticed that you alienated me too
>> what is funny is the fact that the “alien” interviewer wears a binary watch…
lol and if you ask me the “alien” is more human and nicer than the “interviewer”!
i just met a really boring software engineer today. They really are taking over the world. Its a sad sad end we are looking at.
Good post btw
http://www.enit.wordpress.com
@xp: It is only alleged, never proven that I wear a watch that tells the time in Binary like this one
@jyothi: Are you accusing me of being an alien? I’m just a normal human being who is working for daily wages. Really.
@christine: Tell me about it! These software people are really going to make slaves out of us and going to take over the world. Especially the ones that work at Google. Stay away from those kind.
>> Stay away from those kind..
Showing “side” effects of marriage
Thats what I thought too. They seem to be the only species that seem to want to settle down fast.
Oh Woe is Womankind!
hey dude…your secret identity is revealed here anyway http://pages.pointlesswanderings.com/aboutaditya
Oh, no! You have found out my secret identity. I have to kidnap and reformat your brain now.
Unless you want to pay me off. 100 bucks will get you off the hook.
wow…i always wondered how this alien technology of brain reformating works…. Today u r providin me a chance to hav a look at it… I will use the kerosene xerox technology to take a copy of this equipment…MUHAHAAAHHAAA
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