Best Student – Part 2

October 24, 2007
By

[Part 1 of this series is here]

As I made my way to the front of the stage from the last row of the auditorium, I was wondering how this could be possible! Did I really win the “Best Outgoing Student”?

I had a bad feeling about this. I kept thinking that as soon as the HOD saw me, she’d say:
HOD: “Oh, YOU are Aditya Kulkarni? I thought it was that skinny guy with glasses that has 100% attendance. I’m sorry, this award is not for you. You can go back and sit now.”

Or maybe as I got on the stage, they’d say:
HOD: “Aditya has always been outstanding – Standing out of the class, that is! Harharhar…”

Or the HOD would say
HOD: “We decided to give this award to him to make sure he takes it and never comes back here again!”

But nothing of that sort happened. I went on stage, was given the award and (some cash prize too!). I, however, did notice the “Bastard-I’ll-Kill-You” look on Drinivas’s and Dwetha’s faces. I tried to avoid them for the next several weeks.

That didn’t help though. In the weeks that followed, I had an unusually high number of “Buffalo encounters”. I’d be driving peacefully, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a Buffalo would come out, and I’d almost hit it. I was pretty sure that Drinivas had paid supari to the Buffalo Overlords, but I couldn’t prove it. Even to this day, I carry a concealed pepper-spray whenever I meet Drinivas.

But in all that confusion, I forgot to do the most important thing – Give an Award-Acceptance speech! I’ve always been jealous of the Oscar award winners and their acceptance speeches, and this was my one chance, and I forgot about it.

Anyway, since I didn’t get the chance to waste hundred’s of people’s time, I’ll just have to waste yours instead.

Aditya’s “Best Outgoing Student Award” speech

Oh wow! This is so unexpected! I wasn’t even planning to attend this awards ceremony, but the tickets at the Movie Theater were sold out, and in black they were selling for….. err…. Anyway, I have several people to thank who have made this possible. Firstly, I want to thank the college watchman who let me in after classes started several times, I wouldn’t have got the 75% attendance without him. I also want to thank my friends from the last bench who introduced me to the joys of Snooker, I don’t know how I’d have survived these 4 years without that! I also want to thank the owner of our canteen for all the delicious pakodas that we smuggled into class. I think I might be forgetting someone…Ooooh…I want to thank all the Professors who gave me passing grade to get rid of me from their class. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you everyone, and you can get my autographed picture for only 100 rupees!
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10 Responses to Best Student – Part 2

  1. Anonymous on October 24, 2007 at 3:39 am

    You dare to give that speech don’t you.. I hope Ms. Dhailaja wouldn’t give u a call this week to snatch that award away.. Mr. DatyaNara.. you know who I am talking abt is anyway not at PESIT anymore.

    - I would prefer to be anonymous.. can i say your partner in crime ;) not much tho.

    Reply
  2. Aditya Kulkarni on October 24, 2007 at 3:52 am

    Hey, if Mr. Datyanaryana let me, I’d give that speech in front of everyone.

    And I’m pretty sure Ms. Dhailaja would void the award afterward :)

    Reply
  3. Christine on October 24, 2007 at 3:52 am

    Gosh! you’re hilarious!
    Found you thru Pazz.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous on October 24, 2007 at 9:57 am

    What do you think Drinivas or Dwetha’s speech would have been like, had one of them won?

    - Drinivas

    Reply
  5. Rohit Jain (felon) on October 24, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    you so reminded me of my class 12th day, when i got the “Best student award” .. thou it was a good time for me, i found out post function, how excruciating it was for others… :)

    u’ve now inspired me, gotta write abt it soon…

    Reply
  6. Anonymous on October 24, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    I am surprised only buffalo crashes were the effect of wrath of drinivas and dwetha…. try to recollect !!!! They shouldnt let you go so easily isnt it…. hehehe.
    Seeing your dirty bike even the buffaloes will give way …. i am sure of that… i dont believe i even tried to learn riding bikes on that, thnk god it was only one time..!! I am sure your that time GF n now “The wife” would have threathened you… thnx to her!! :D

    -bhav

    Reply
  7. Aditya Kulkarni on October 24, 2007 at 6:41 pm

    @christine: Welcome to the Aditya’s-mega-time-waster blog. And thanks for the compliment :)

    @”Drinivas” – You know, I can’t imagine what Drinivas’s or Dwetha’s acceptance speech might have been. It doesn’t really matter, because I’d have fallen asleep listening to them anyway :D :D

    @rohit: You won the best student award too? Congratulations man. You’re da man!

    @bhav: I’m only daring to write this because I’m safely sitting here in San Francisco, where I know I am safe from Drinivas and Dwetha. But I can’t hide forever, can I? I’m sure they’ll hunt me down sooner or later. I have to be prepared.

    Reply
  8. Riya on October 25, 2007 at 1:00 am

    I suppose you could always tell them the frog and chicken joke….:P
    Or using your honed persuasive speaking skills, you could give that speech of yours in front of them, and they’d be so moved that you’d make an easy 200 bucks signing your name on random pictures….:P
    hehe

    Reply
  9. Rohit Jain (felon) on October 25, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    dude, we both sailing in the same boat w.r.t. receiving the “best outgoing student” .. only difference being, u in san fo and me in india.. those guys will catch hold of me soon ;)

    u’ve really insipired me man… :)
    keep writing
    keep blogging..
    jai ho adityaism ki.. :)

    Reply
  10. Aditya Kulkarni on October 25, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    Thank you man! And I promise I will continue to blog until I die! Or I get bored. Whichever comes first.

    Reply

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