Exercise

I don’t understand why people exercise. People will get out of bed 5 AM to go run around in circles while they have only owls to keep them company. They might also get in a car, drive to a smelly ol’ building, peddle a bicycle that doesn’t go anywhere, and drive back. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

I’ve listed down the common arguments that these people use and my own counter arguments. You can see that these “exercise” arguments are all obviously wrong:

Argument: Exercise is good for you!
Counter Argument: Ice cream is good for me. I know because it tastes good. If it tastes good, it has to be good. Hence proved.

Argument: It helps you stay fit. You’ll live longer.
Counter Argument: Soon there will be pills and medicines that will let you live longer. Plus, they’ll come in chocolate and strawberry flavors dipped in cream. But because you are dieting, you won’t be able to take them. Then I’ll be laughing at you. Actually, let me start now. Hahahahah!

Argument: It’s fun!
Counter Argument: No it’s not. You only pretend it is fun to try to make me jealous. But I am above such petty things.

Argument: “No Pain No Gain“. If you don’t take the pain, you won’t get any gain.
Counter Argument: My mantra is: “No Pain, No Pain“. If you don’t cause yourself any pain, you don’t have to take the pain.

Argument: Health is Wealth!
Counter Argument: REALLY? Can you buy Chocolate IceCream with your Health? Can you ? Can you? Didn’t think so. Besides, I have mathematical proof:

    Health = Wealth ....[assume]    

   Wealth = Money  ....[Common sense]    

   Time   = Money  ....[Because Bill Gates said so]       

   Therefore,    Health = Time   ....Call this equation [1]

It follows that you can increase health by increasing the amount of free time. And you can increase the amount of free time by not exercising.

Therefore, not exercising improves your health.

What better proof do you need?